Back in Miami

Back in Miami! Nice to be back near the water and in 80 degree weather!

Herro!!!!

Hey yalls!!! lol~ I finally managed to git on dis biz. I kno it took so long, but you know i was tryin to git all settled in and stuff wit everythang then my other thing to log onto this one got expired and wut not so i couldn't git on til now. =) but hope everyone is well. my life is the same shit. be workin' dis whole week since i had off for 6 days straight. went to tn to visit da hubby. quite interesting. could never live there. ruth...how was it for you? i went to visit nashville as well and i mean it was aiite. da cvs there looked like shit and they got walgreens all ova da damn place. lots of flat land and lots of nothingness where jason lives.

jason's going to be leavin' for afghan in mid nov or early dec. still don't kno yet cuz da army ain't tell him shit. so yeah.....lovely first year of marriage. hmmm other than that...i'm lookin forward to our christmas potluck. i remembered what i was going to make now. i'm going to make bbq chicken pizza. hope yalls will like it. i wanna play taboo again.

i'm blabbin' bout random shit rite now cuz i'm tired and freakin' i had three customers show up at like 9:57 pm. fuckin' piss me off. ugh!!! then i left my ring at da pharmacy cuz i took it off to wash my hands so i had to drive back and go git it again when i was 'bout to shower. so yeah...lovely. now i'm just layin' in bed and gonna catch up on my desperate housewives espisode. hehe

so yeahs....hope everyone is swell. =)

peace out nucckas

xoxo

California

I have been contemplating relocating from Miami, FL to Los Angeles, CA for work. I am excited at the thought of exploring another city but I am not sure if I can leave my life in Miami. I will be here another 2 weeks. Hopefully I will have a decision made by then.

Date Night

As a single woman, I've realized dating is taxing. It's also a lot of fun when you're with the right guy, but many times these things are a hit or miss. I've been on several dates this year and I've never gone back for a second.

I have a bad track record of attracting the crazies, and it makes me appropriately wary of people. In the not-so-distant past, I was legitimately stalked for months by a middle-aged hairy beast who more than once declared his love for me. Not only was he completely batty, but he wore too-tight shirts that did nothing but enhance his huge hairy man-nipples. I had a mental image of two giant tarantulas suffocating a slow death under his shirt. He asked for my hand in marriage so he could take me back to his home country. Persistent little bugger.

This experience undoubtedly deterred me from wanting to get acquainted with strangers, so it's no surprise I typically refuse dates when asked. But I am finding myself more and more open to the opportunity. My days in my twenties are numbered and I crave the experience. I don't want to have children one day and tell them that the only men I've dated were my boyfriends. Lame.

So when Adam* asked me out on a date, I agreed. I had met him some time ago, but I just never felt any chemistry. I'm a girl who need sparks to fly when I first meet someone. My bestie is always telling me my standards are too high (I beg to differ), so I figured I should broaden my horizons. I drove myself and picked a restaurant close to home so I could easily flee if things were to go awry. I sat near the window, Corona in hand, and waited for him to arrive. He showed up, tall and smelling incredibly good. Not bad.

It didn't take long for me to notice he didn't have much of a personality and I did most of the talking. Strike one. I don't mind a little shyness, but all he did was laugh hysterically at everything I said, even when it wasn't funny. Awkward. So I plowed through my pasta and talked away, punctuated here and there by his too high-pitched laughter.

But I still felt something was amiss. He was fidgety about making eye contact. Strike two. Halfway into the dinner I finally realized why. One of his eyes was slightly lazy.. a la the Cookie Monster. Suddenly I found myself not knowing where to look. Making eye contact was confusing, not to mention challenging. On the rare instances he decided to look at me square in the eyes, my own pair uncomfortably wandered over to the lazy one to follow its line of vision. Then my mind would go to that lesser place of wondering what it's looking at. I was also running out of things to talk about, and our conversation hit an uncomfortable lull. He asked if I wanted to leave and go elsewhere to get some drinks.

I did what any girl would do in this situation, I excused myself and called my old roomie Lisa* from the bathroom. She and I had long set up a system. She was to call me back within minutes. Unfortunately, most of the time these calls consist of her cracking up on the other side, while I attempt to have a one-sided conversation. She called, inappropriately asked how "Mr. Googly-eyes" is doing and predictably broke into a fit of laughter. As we all know, I happen to have the biggest case of giggle fits which hits me at the most inopportune moments. I had the hardest time keeping a straight face.

In the end, I told Adam* I had to give my friend a mock interview (at 10pm at night lol) and asked for the check. As I always do, I offered to pay my share but he politely declined. He was the consummate gentleman, but it was an altogether boring date.

Next time I should follow my gut and go with someone who gives me sparks and rockets red glare. At least then there is the possibility of ending the night with some good ol sexy time. Maybe. Or not. ;)

* Names have been changed.

?

It's about time I feel comfortable in my own skin. I'm tired of swaying back and forth between moments of unabashed confidence and bouts of depression-bordering insecurity. And yet...
Here I am again with some mildly savory Chinese take-out and a relentless stream of unfocused consciousness. I should be completing overdue preparations for tomorrow's 7a-11p workday, or at least getting some shut-eye, but I find myself too confused to do either.

I can't seem to shake this feeling of dissatisfaction. I'm doubting all the choices I've made recently. Is this where I want to be? Even if I continue on to my doctorate.. then what? Will I finally be content?

On the tail end of an incredible journey to some of the most romantic places in Spain and Italy, all I wanted was a good man to share in the ride.. but when I was presented with one, all I could see were his superficial faults.

That of course left me texting an ex, who I believed to be a friend, who turned out to really just be an ex, with some trite weekend-plans-invitation-provoking message.. there was no response this time. I guess he was busy.. *tear*

Having found the trigger for this downward spiral, I'm still left wondering when if ever I'll encounter 'that special someone' who makes my heart skip a beat.. or just be happy without. I'm clearly not built for the latter, so with the start of a new school year and the end of a good friend's single-dom, here's to taking some leaps of Faith~!

And You May Kiss the Bride

One of my best friends is getting married this weekend! I am so excited for her as she enters this new chapter in her life!! She is the first one of us who is getting married!!! She is brave.

Congratulations girl!!! Cannot wait to see you and share this special time with you!!!!

I'm home! It's been a while since I've visited my parents.
My dog is there wagging away. Brother's out. Parents are home eating dinner. My mom is filling me in on what's been going on lately and it just feels so cozy. Just the way I left it. My mom yells to my dad, "take the dog out for a walk!" ... she's always been a bit demanding, but only because my dad adores it =) hey... when did his belly grow so big?... when did he have trouble standing up? He's having trouble seeing? My mom tells me that my dad has turned blind. He tells me it's nothing and stumbles to find my dog and the leash.

When did this happen? When did my dad that provided everything for our family, the dad that was the backbone, the dad that made sure I didn't have to worry... when did he become so weak?...

Tears started to stroll down my face... I start sobbing uncontrollably...
It was just a bad dream.
7:09 AM DAH! I'm late for my second day!!!!!

My name is Audrey. Let's get acquainted =)

Red on Jolie

Who do you love seeing wearing red lipstick? When I think of red lipstick, I think of Angelina Jolie in this picture. Bloody sexy!

New Past Time

No, my new past time is not Facebook. It's stalking old friends on facebook. Yes, I confess. I find myself looking through the facebook of old elementary, middle, and high school friends and see how different they are. It is so weird and intriguing to how these old friends have ended up becoming.

The old elementary school group of friends are still hanging out together in the same neighborhood doing the same things. I thank God that I was not one to stay behind. After college I moved to DC and now I live in downtown Miami. I look forward to where my next move will take me. I can't imagine my life living in the same neighborhood as I was when in elementary school. But I miss those crazy fools.

Chick #1 from middle school has a son who is 7 years old. That means she had him when she was 18 years old. Damn! And she is going through a divorce. So weird. Chick #2 is married with THREE kids!!! But she still look beautiful and kept her figure. Good job girl! Chick # 3 from highschool is traveling the world as a model. You go girl! Soccer chick moved to California. The all star athlete is now a fat loser. The beauty queen is a now a fat single mother of two.

Is it wrong that I enjoy seeing the changes time brings to these people. I don't only laugh at those hotshots in highschool who now have beer bellies and are unemployed but I also smile at the successes of those who were not the popular ones. But I confess, sometimes it's really funny.

Blame it on the alcohol...

I felt his finger slip under the top of my shorts and slowly inch towards my buttcrack. So I bit. Hard.

"Ooooooh" was his reaction. Apparently he liked it. Whatever, at least his hand is out of my pants. My ass is secure - mission accomplished. I may be drunk, but I don't ever give up the goodies to strangers.

"You're fiesty, I like it."

"Asians are dragons, dude." I slurred. Maybe not those exact words, but a similiar rendition and equally embarrassing. I think I may have actually hissed at him too. But it's ok. Because I'm drunk.

At 26, this is my first time being a single woman since the 10th grade. I've always been in long-term relationships. As soon as one ends, I jump into another. Even what starts out as a casual fling end up turning into a two year relationship.

Then I get scared and back out.

So every time I find myself single, horny and blurry-eyed, it is inevitable I will be locking lips with a stranger in some dark corner of the club. I regret it later when I'm getting ready for bed and compulsively rinsing my mouth out with Listerine, but I figure you only live once. I might as well get it out of my system while I'm still young. No body wants to see a nasty forty year old cougar in a minidress trying to catch herself some fresh meat.

This is actually a genuine fear of mine.

I'm slowly inching towards thirty. I fear marriage and committment. It's no surprise I feel this way. Growing up, I used to ask my parents to get a divorce. Do I want love and stability? Yes. But there is a part of me that will always wait for the other shoe to drop.

Until I fix my issues, I will remain a single woman forever with an endless string of boyfriends, but never husbands. Sometimes I feel ok with that. Other days I wonder what my life has come to.

My name pays homage to all the SUPER-women up in dis bidneeez!

TBC: sw

My Job as HR

I am an HR professional and yesterday was a day from HR hell. My company is restructuring and decided to cut costs by eliminating a few employees. This was decided on Thursday. So on Friday (yesterday), I had the task of breaking the news to these few employees.

Some people think that it must be so nice to be in HR; thinking we get to hire and fire and reprimand employees. But it is a HEADACHE! Don't get me wrong, I love my field but sometimes....

So long story short, I went in yesterday and laid off 4 people in less than 10 minutes. I prepared during the whole day with paperwork and such but the actual process took 10 minutes. Administering a lay off is harder than terminating an employee due to bad performance. The employees had no fault but they get the short end of the stick.

I was sick all day feeling nauseous with  headache due to the thought of what I had to do. I had to let them know that they had to look for another job in this market. I had to tell them that they had to say goodbye to their friends at work. I had to tell them that they were about to be financially unstable as they join the millions out there who are unemployed.

I felt so bad but I had to be the stern HR lady.

I hope I don't get shot on Monday....

Quarterlife Crisis

I am 25 years old and I am going through my quarterlife crisis. I am working full-time (more like extra full-time) and in a committed relationship. My work takes over my life. By the end of each day I am too tired to spend time with my man or call my friends or even paint my nails! Is this normal?

When I was 18, I thought people who were 25 were so old. I thougth that their lives had pretty much ended and all they had left to do was to get married and have kids. When I graduated highschool I thought that by age 25, I would be set financially and know all the answers and have travelled the world. I was naiive.

At 25, I feel like I'm not where I want to be.. yet. I have so much more I want to do and I feel like I am running out of time. Soon, I will be 30!!!! Omg... that will be another crisis...

But I am fortunate to have friends who are also going through the same thing (right ladies? lol) who can help me during this time. Funny how when we talk about it; it seems like we are going through the same thing in different variations.

Welcome!

Welcome to Red Lipstick Mafia!

This is where a group of childhood friends who have graduated and gone separate ways have come to gather to share their thoughts, feelings, and stories with each other. These ladies are now scattered all over the world, pursuing their dream, job, money, or love and this is where they meet to be childhood friends again.

Hear their stories and join them through the joys, heartaches, tears, and laughter as they put on their red lipstick to face this journey called life together.